{elf on the damn shelf // week 3}

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We’re on the final stretch.  The last week of hell.  Then the Elf on the Damn Shelf is GONE!  For about 340 days.  That’s 340 days that you don’t have to move the little shit.  Or shall I say, forget to move the little shit.  Then come up with some brilliant reason as to why he didn’t move.  Ha.

Just remember….

It’s for the kids!

Ok, let’s get to business.

Elf on the Damn Shelf Week #3

Supplies needed:

  • donuts
  • toy sale add or magazine
  • red solo cups
  • a note: “All aboard the Shoe-Shoe Train”
  • Hershey kisses
  • package of sugar cookie mix

 

Day #1

The Elf on the Damn Shelf brings donuts.  From the donut shop or out of a bag.  The kids are so happy + sugar high they can’t think straight.  This should probably be done on a school day, so you can send the sugar high freaks to school and you don’t have to deal with them 🙂

 

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Day #2

Elf on the Damn Shelf is checking out the Target toy sale add.  If you’re feeling extra funny, circle a bunch of things your kids would HATE to get for Christmas.  The Elf on the Damn Shelf will most likely be taking that Target toy sale add back to the North Pole, right?  Make them sweat a bit.

I’m a terrible person…and I kinda like it!!!

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Day #3

Bust out all your road soda cups and build a cup tower.  Make sure to keep them when you’re done though.  You’ll probably need those to-go cups for the weekend.  And good luck getting the Elf on the Damn Shelf to sit perfectly on top.  It’s basically impossible.  Toss him next to it.  Let him once again get all the credit for your creativity.  #jerk

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Day #4

All aboard the Shoe-Shoe Train!  This one makes me laugh.  Bay will definitely think this is “lame” or too ” little kid-ish”  Which make me like it that much more.  And our shoes are so much bigger and cuter.  Set this get-up somewhere where you wont be spending much time.  It will annoy the living hell out of you walking around and over it for the next 24 hours.  Little ones will dig it though.  Remember, it’s for the kids!!!

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{weekend notes}

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It’s Monday.  Opps, It’s Tuesday!!  And I’m feeling refreshed after the weekend.  Don’t you love it when that happens?  I completely forgot to hit “publish” yesterday.  And didn’t realize it till late last night.  Hope you guys had a great weekend.  I did everything I had hoped and wanted too.  And even spontaneously snuck off to the city for the night.

 

Intentions for the week:

  • bake Christmas treats
  • caroling at GG’s ♥
  • wrap gifts as they are delivered/purchased
  • stay away from the See’s candy
  • drive around to look at Christmas lights
  • plan favorite things brunch
  • watch all the Christmas movies with Bay
  • serendipity/mojo’s fundraiser for Omega Nu
  • sort Christmas bins
  • sell Bay’s clothes (she wont stop growing)
  • gym mon-fri

 

What are your intentions for the week?  Christmas is around the corner and there is still so much to see and do.

Highlights from the weekend…..

 

Yaya’s //

Yaya’s reunite!  Nothing better than kicking the weekend off with a Yaya dinner!  It’s been far too long.  New babies.  New relationships.  New adventures.  So much to catch up on.  Can’t wait to do it again.  And maybe stay out past 9 🙂

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Christmas Traditions //

One of my (many) favorite Holiday traditions….Christmas cards with all your pretty faces.  I love them so much, that I’ve been known to keep them up well past May.

I’m displaying them the same as last year, on an old box spring from a Peterbilt.  A couple of years ago, I saw them in the dumpster and convinced one of my co-workers to help me dig them out.  I have two.  So hopefully I can fill them both up again this year 🙂  I stole this idea from Marilynn that had one in her living room years ago.

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Christmas Cactus //

I’m a sucker for anything white.  Or gold.  I can across a white Christmas cactus at the Davis Farmers market a few weeks ago.  It was full of buds, so I’ve been waiting patiently for it to bloom.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful Christmas cactus.  Fingers crossed I can keep her alive forever.

 

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Hostess Gift //

I put together my first set of Hostess gifts this weekend.  Anthropologie initial mugs.  Filled with spiced nuts.  Lori Carrion’s spiced nuts, to be exact.  I can’t remember who shared the recipe with me, but it’s a keeper.  Fresh rosemary + brown sugar + cayenne + more.

I tied a twine bow to a bottle brush tree and done!

I found these cute mini bottle brush trees in the Target dollar spot.  I’ll show you how else I used them as you keep scrolling.

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Wrapping //

I set aside some time to get my wrapping on.  It’s really beginning  to feel + look like Christmas at our house.  Bay came home and was so excited to see gifts.  Especially gifts with her name on them.

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The city //

Spontaneous trips to the city are always a good idea.

Especially during the Holidays.

The city lights are beyond beautiful.  Wreaths in each Macy’s window.  #goals.

The tree!

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When the cable car pick up is right outside your hotel, you 100% hop on.  I was like a kids in a candy store.

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{elf on the damn shelf // week 2}

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Okay mama’s, the big question of the day…..

How did week #1 go?  Did you forget to move the Elf on the Damn Shelf more times that you didn’t?

OMG…me too!

I never once remembered to move the Elf on the Damn Shelf the night before.  Every. Single. Morning. I came racing down the stairs as I heard Bay’s alarm go off.  Thank GOD I made this little guide/ideas post last week, because if came in handy.  I used it for each day.  How about you?  Did you find it helpful for the days you were just ready to say fuck it?  He’s not moving for the rest of the damn week?

Well, if so…I’m here to hook you up with 7 more easy ideas to get you through week #2.  This is what I like to call Hell Week.

The week where you just want to throw in the towel.

Don’t!  It’s for the kids, remember?  It’s the Holidays.  Think of all the memories you’re making for them.  And remember, one day, wayyyy down the road (better be) they will have to do this for their kids too.

I’m baking on that phone call…..

“Mom, you really did this shit for 25 frickin days?!?!”

Okay, let’s get to Week #2

Elf on the Damn Shelf Week #2

Supplies needed:

  • cheerios
  • leftover mini marshmallows from last week
  • a note: “HELP!”
  • box of candy canes
  • a note: “I have hidden 6 candy canes in the room.  Can you find them in 1 minute or less?”

 

Day #1

UR MOM IS HOT!  Sorry, I had to.  You’re a MILF and you know it 🙂  Our Elf on the Damn Shelf is a girl.  And I’m still 100% doing this.  Have a good sense of humor.  Or your kids wont…ha!  Promise this will make them giggle.  Then they’ll probably just eat all the Cheerios and go on about their merry day.

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Day #2

Yesterday was so funny that you deserve an easy day.  Shove that Elf on the Damn Shelf in a stocking and call it a day.

See you tomorrow fucker!

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Day #3

Remember last week when I told you to save 1/2 of the bag of marshmallows?  Pull them out of hiding.  Hopefully they aren’t all hard and stale.  Even if they are, it’s totally OK.  Let’s give that little jerk a marshmallow bubble bath.  Don’t drown him, k!

Again, remember to use a sink you’re not planning on using for the next 24 hours.  A bowl next to the sink will do the trick too!

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Day #4

HEEELLLLPPPP!  No explanation needed 🙂

 

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{friday 5}

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Happy Friday, friends….hope you had a great week!  Cant even begin to believe that Christmas is two weeks away.  NUTS!  My weekend to-do’s are growing by the minute.  What’s on your list for the weekend?  I get to see one of my favorite group of ladies tonight for margs + cheers.  Baklava making with the Corbett babes.  Sleeping in.  Myabe even brunch?  And of course, wrapping gifts.

Have a good on, k!!

Don’t even think I’m going to let you go that quickly….I’ve got 5 things on my mind first…..

ONE – Goat Cheese Balls //  When I say it out loud all I can think of is Stassi on Vanderpump Rules.  Her love for SUR goat cheese balls is real.  She even tweeted about it: here!  Ha.  Anyway, I was assigned an appetizer for our yearly Omega Nu Holiday party.  I knew it had to be cheese, for obvious reasons.  I LOVE CHEESE!  And I’ve yet to play with goat cheese.  Soooo, I googled that shit.  Came up with about 8,732 recipes.  ALL fried.  I don’t fry.  Therefore I had to play with it a healthy it up a bit.

Goat cheese + honey + herbs + BAKED!  Bam!  Healthy-er!

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Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 8 oz. goat cheese
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 tablespoon honey (extra for drizzling)
  • 1 egg, whisked
  • 1 cup walnut, crushed in food processor

 

Line cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside.

Stir together goat cheese + all spices + honey.

In two separate bowls you’ll need whisked egg + chopped walnuts.

Using a cookie scoop, scoop goat cheese mixture and form into a ball.

Roll goat cheese ball in whisked egg then walnuts.

Place on lined cookie sheet.

Repeat will remaining goat cheese.

Freeze for 1 hour.

When ready to bake, preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Bake on cookie sheet for 10 minutes.

Serve warm with additional honey drizzled over the top.  Crackers or bread are a must too!

 

 

TWO – Ojai // I’m devastated to hear about the fires in Southern California.  Hasn’t CA had it’s fair share of fires for the year?  Or forever, yet?  Then to top it off, as I’ve been working on my {ojia // travelogue part #2}, the best part of the trip.  I was saddened to see that Ojai Valley Inn, the most beautiful resort I have visited to date, is under evacuation.  See this photo below?  I took this as I was sitting at the Ojai Valley Inn pool.  Less than 30 day ago.  It’s unreal that this could be gone.

Pray for California ♥

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THREE – Christmas Tree Frap // Starbucks debuted the seasonal Frap yesterday.  It all stared with the Unicorn Frap the Dragon and Cherry Blossom Frap.  The Zommbie + Vampire made a quick go around during October.  Which leads us to the final for the year….the Christmas Tree Frap.

Delicious mocha and peppermint are blended with milk and ice, topped with a festive tree made of matcha infused whipped cream, a caramel drizzle and candied cranberries finished off with a strawberry tree “topper.”

I picked one up for the queen of seasonal fraps….aka Bay.

I personally thought it looked like a seven layer dip in a Starbucks cup.  With a strawberry on top. It even smelled funny too.

The Frap Queens review:

It tastes like melty mint chocolate chip ice cream + coffee.

She LOVEEEDDD it.  And is currently wanting to hit every Starbucks insight to scoop up one of these $5 drinks before they vanish.

My review:

Dis-gus-ting!!!!

Coming from a black coffee non frap drinking girl.

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{elf on the damn shelf // week 1}

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Elf on the Damn Shelf.

Why do we do this to ourselves year after year?

Because our kids fricking LOVE it.  It’s magic.  The anticipation each morning is the cutest thing ever.

If you’ve been dreaded the arrival of your creepy little elf and the next 25 days, I’ve got you covered.

Here’s the deal, I have been in the Elf game for many years.  Considering the age of my child.  I have an 11-year-old.  Which I thought wasn’t going to be super into it this year.  WRONG!

Anyway, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I consider myself a bit of an Elf on the Damn Shelf expert…with my years of experience.

Stay tuned for the next 3 weeks.  Each Saturday morning, I’ll share 7 EASY ideas to get you though the week.  I’ll even include a list of shit you need.  Either you have on hand or need to pick up on your next Target run.

Ok, here we go……

Elf on the Damn Shelf Week #1

Supplies needed:

  • cookies
  • tooth paste
  • kitchen towel
  • kids chonies
  • a note: “I see London, I see France, I stole your underpants”
  • hot cocoa packets (dollar store)
  • marshmallows (hide 1/2 the package for next week)
  • roll of toilet paper

 

Day #1

You wake up in a fucking panic because it’s December 1st, day #1 and you already forgot to move the damn elf on the shelf.  Or better yet, you don’t even know where the hell the elf is.

No cute note.  No cute Christmas PJ’s like years past.

Cookies!  No kid is going to complain about the elf on the damn shelf bringing cookies.

Ps…Timothy’s Bakery opens at 5am!  Just saying.

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Day #2

You’re in the groove.  Feelin it.  So let’s get a little more creative.  Tooth paste smiley face.  BUTTTT, make sure you either do this on the counter or a bathroom sink you’re not planning to use for the day.  Remember, you can’t move the little jerk until the next day.

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Day #3

Shit!  You forgot again.  Run to the bathroom sink (where you left him the night before), grab the elf on the damn shelf.  Wrap him up in the kitchen towel sitting by the sink and toss him in the fridge.

Done √

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Day #4

Sneak your kids chonies.  Preferably clean.  Drape them over the stocking holders or someplace clever.  With a note:

I see London,

I see Fance

I stole your

Underpants

They will get a kick out of this one.

Pat yourself on the back!  You’re killing it Mama!

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Day #5

Hot Chocolate!  Grab some packets of good ole Swiss Miss + mugs + marshmallows.

Better yet, throw some marshmallows over the counter and set the elf on the damn shelf next to them.  The more mischievous the better.  Kids dig that shit.

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Day #6

Your alarm goes off.  You drank way too much wine last night.  And the elf on the damn shelf definitely didn’t get moved.  The kid(s) are already up.  You’re head is pounding.  And you gotta come up with something real quick.

Don’t panic.

Excuses:

  • who touched the elf?
  • the weather was really bad last night.
  • you were so sassy, he decided to stay and keep an eye on you.
  • he’s tricking us, duh!

How many more days till Christmas?  (19 to be exact)

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{friday 5}

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December 1st!  The final chapter of 2017.  31 days left to make it a great one.  Who else is planning to finish it off with a bang?  It’s been one of those weeks, and I’m so, so ready for the weekend.  Lots of fun things planned.  One of those weekends where you’re looking forward to everything on your calendar.  Don’t you love it when that happens?  Have a good one peeps!

 

But first, I’ve got 5 things on my mind…..

 

ONE – Elf on the Damn Shelf // Today, December 1st, our Elf on the Damn Shelf, Holly arrived.  It’s bittersweet.  On one hand, I LOVE the tradition.  The anticipation of where Holly may be hiding each morning.  Or what kind of mischief she’s gotten into in the middle of the night, while we’re all fast asleep.  On the other hand, it’s a royal pain in the ass to move the elf on the damn shelf every. single. night. for 25 days.  Being that I am a seasoned elf on the shelfer, I’m going to share a week of Elf ideas each Saturday morning.  For the next 3 weeks to get you though the agony.  Including supplies needed.  Promise, promise, promise…they will all be easy and with minimal items.

Come back tomorrow morning for {elf on the damn shelf // week 1}

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TWO – Christmas Place Setting // This may not look like much more than a place setting to you.  To my Mom and I, this is the place setting from hell.  Ha.  Not really.  It was a pain in the ass to make happen.  In case you haven’t heard me say it before, I’ll say it again, My Mom is THE SHIT.  I called her Wednesday and chatted with her on the phone for about an hour.  I told her everything I could think of.  From ideas to current events to real life shit.  She’s a fantastic listener.  Then when we were ready to hang up, I remembered 5 more things I need to discuss with her.  One of them being this table…lol.

I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with something I LOVE.  Also something that’s different from what I’ve done before.  Without spending a shit ton of money.  After 3 trips to the Dollar Tree, made by the one and the only….My Mom, I finally have a place setting I love.  She originally went for the gold chargers.  Then sent me a pic of the gold-rimmed plates.  My love for gold will never die. Then went back to get the matching salad plates.  Then yesterday, went back AGAIN for 2 more place setting.  I can’t even make this shit up.

THANK YOU MOM!!!  I’m going to buy you something really great for Christmas ♥

 

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Table Runner: World Market

Gold Charger: Dollar Tree

Gold Rimmed Dinner + Salad Plate: Dollar Tree

Plaid Linen Napkins: Target (Hearth & Hand)

Gold Flatware: World Market

Plaid Ribbon: Target (Hearth & Hand)

Garland Clipping: Trader Joe’s

I’ll share my full Christmas table soon!  Just a couple more finishing touches.

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{tip for hosting a stress-free holiday}

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T (urkey) minus 2 days!  Ha!  I had to.

Okay guys, I was thinking last week….

People get so stressed out about hosting.  I honestly LOVE it.  Weird?  Maybe?  I think I’ve done it so much that I’m really comfortable opening my home just about anytime of the year.  But, Holidays.  Holidays are my jam.  #holidaywhore.

I wanted to share some tips for stress-free hosting that I think might just make you chill the fuck out a little bit.

Here we go…..

 

Prep!

Do as much prep as possible ahead of time.  This is probably the biggest NO BRAINER!  It’s also is the one thing that makes the biggest difference.  Stay up late if you have to.  Run all your errands on your lunch break.  Make shit happen.  Groceries + paper products.  Grab an extra pack of TP.  And definitely DON’T forget lotttsss of wine.  That way the day of, you will be smooth sailing!

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You don’t have to make everything from scratch!

Cut yourself some slack sister.  I guarantee not a single person at your table is going to give a fuck that your rolls came from Nugget.  Shit, they might even be better than the 5 hours you could have put into making them from scratch.  Don’t chance killing the yeast!  How about pies?  You think guests aren’t going to smother that Costco pumpkin pie in cool whip and lick their plates clean?  Trust me….you’re gonna to be just fine.  And if they do mention somthing, then remove them from next years guest list.  You don’t want a jerk at your table anyway 🙂

 

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Set your table in advance!

The day before, or maybe even….the week before, take your time.  Set a pretty table.  Admire it.  Pull out all that fancy silverware + china you never use.  Have fun with it.  Then the night before or the day of, all you have to do is add some greenery or fresh flowers and you’re set.

I went with my forever favorite, eucalyptus.  It’s timeless.  Goes with everything.  You will always find a vase of eucalyptus in my home, year round.

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Ask your guests to bring a favorite dish!

Everyone likes to contribute, well except for lazy assholes..Ha.  It can get fun to see what your peeps sentimental dish may be.  Doesn’t each family have that one weird/odd item they HAVE to have on turkey day?  You get to try something new and hear a fun background story as to how this dish became so important.  Ours would have to be pretzel jello salad.  Every time a newbie comes to Thanksgiving they never know what to think.  But you better believe they ask for seconds.

 

{Anna’s beautiful charcuterie platter}

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