{elf on the damn shelf // week 3}

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We’re on the final stretch.  The last week of hell.  Then the Elf on the Damn Shelf is GONE!  For about 340 days.  That’s 340 days that you don’t have to move the little shit.  Or shall I say, forget to move the little shit.  Then come up with some brilliant reason as to why he didn’t move.  Ha.

Just remember….

It’s for the kids!

Ok, let’s get to business.

Elf on the Damn Shelf Week #3

Supplies needed:

  • donuts
  • toy sale add or magazine
  • red solo cups
  • a note: “All aboard the Shoe-Shoe Train”
  • Hershey kisses
  • package of sugar cookie mix

 

Day #1

The Elf on the Damn Shelf brings donuts.  From the donut shop or out of a bag.  The kids are so happy + sugar high they can’t think straight.  This should probably be done on a school day, so you can send the sugar high freaks to school and you don’t have to deal with them 🙂

 

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Day #2

Elf on the Damn Shelf is checking out the Target toy sale add.  If you’re feeling extra funny, circle a bunch of things your kids would HATE to get for Christmas.  The Elf on the Damn Shelf will most likely be taking that Target toy sale add back to the North Pole, right?  Make them sweat a bit.

I’m a terrible person…and I kinda like it!!!

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Day #3

Bust out all your road soda cups and build a cup tower.  Make sure to keep them when you’re done though.  You’ll probably need those to-go cups for the weekend.  And good luck getting the Elf on the Damn Shelf to sit perfectly on top.  It’s basically impossible.  Toss him next to it.  Let him once again get all the credit for your creativity.  #jerk

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Day #4

All aboard the Shoe-Shoe Train!  This one makes me laugh.  Bay will definitely think this is “lame” or too ” little kid-ish”  Which make me like it that much more.  And our shoes are so much bigger and cuter.  Set this get-up somewhere where you wont be spending much time.  It will annoy the living hell out of you walking around and over it for the next 24 hours.  Little ones will dig it though.  Remember, it’s for the kids!!!

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{friday 5}

Happy Friday, Friends!  It was a long busy week, but it felt so good to tackle the ol’ to-do list.  On a scale from starting to have an fing panic attack to gurrrllll, I got this…..where are you with your Christmas shopping?  Or is that just a loaded question 10 days away from Christmas?  Hope you get that shit done so you can enjoy the remainder of the Holiday season.

It’s Friday and I’ve got 5 things on my mind…….

 

ONE – Wine // My most beloved chardonnay vessel of all time.  The glass you can find in my hand 90% of the time you’re in my home.  The other 10% is before 10am when I’m still holding my cherished coffee mug.  Both cups I love equally.  One just spends a little more time in-hand than the other.  Both from one of my favorite places to purchase beverage holders.  Anthropologie!  And guess what?  Anthropologie is having a sale.  It’s unheard of for Anthro to have 25% off ANYTHING + free shipping.  You’re welcome 🙂  You too can have this wine cup-glass-thingy in your hand 90% of the day.  $18 for a set of 4 glasses!

Unfortunately I will not be partaking in my normal weekend pastime, aka chardonnay drinking.  This cold finally got the best of me and I’m currently being medicated for a sinus infection.  Pray for me, K!

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Wine Glass – set of 4 ($18) // Homegrown Mug ($6) //

Petal Palette Mug ($7.50 ) // White Monogram Mug ($6)

 

TWO – Cow Print //  I stumbled on this cow print last week.  I’m totally in love with it and currently trying to figure out a spot I can place it in my home.  You can also get it in color too.  Honestly, I think I prefer the black + white image better.  What do you think?

Oh yeah, and it’s a free printable.  Even better!!

Clink on the link below and print!

MINIMAL COW WALL ART

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THREE – Twinning //  When you find matching tops at Target, you make your kiddo wear it the same day.  And you document that shit.  Thank god she’s still totally into matching me! It’s hard to see in the photos, but we were bumping arm ruffles in the picture.  Love that girl ♥

Both tops combined…under $20!

We both said, spontaneously – my shirt is so cozy.  And cute!

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{ojai // travelogue part #2 }

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It always takes me so much time to write these posts.  So hard to recap such an amazing time.  I don’t want to miss anything.  But, it’s impossible.  Unless you were there, you really just can’t understand.  Unless your body was aching.  Unless you were in desperate need of a shower.  Unless your socks were full of dirt.  Unless your belly hurt from laughing so fucking hard the night before.  Unless your bond with 3 of your best gals grew a mile.  Unless you just backpacked the Sespe Wilderness overnight, there is NO way possible I can explain how bad ass, strong, empowered, brave and relieved we all felt in this photo above.  We were DONE!  We survived.

We had our eye on the prize.  We were headed for a night stay at the Ojai Valley Inn.

Our reward to ourselves.

Probably the most brilliant idea we’d actually ever come up with.  I mean, the hike was for sure coolest part #2.  Ojai Valley Inn…coolest part #1.

That’s why I saved the best for last.  And I can 100% guarantee that we would all have to agree.

This place is like the best kept secret.  A little gem in the heart of Ojai.  A place I’d read about.  Shit let’s be real, the Beverly Hills Housewives had 2 episodes taped here.  Remember that?  That’s how I really heard of it.  Oh and remember Brothers & Sisters?  That show took place in Ojai too.

Here are a few photos I stole off their website to give you a better idea of what I’m talking about……

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(images via)

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Ojai Valley Inn is by far the most gorgeous resort I’ve ever visited.

The luxurious amenities.

Best in class customer service.  You guys, customer service is everything to me and I have never seen anything like it here.  Friendly.  Uber accommodating.

You really need to stay here.  Trust me.  I can guarantee you that you will have the most wonderful time.

Resort Map

The drive inn

 

You would have thought we were moving in.  Nahhh, just a 24 hour stay 🙂

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Our bell boy wan’t even slightly phased.  He loaded up every bag and we leisurely followed him to our room.

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The view from our patio wasn’t too bad either.

 

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and a bed.  After sleeping on the ground, this looked damn good!

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The Pool(s) //

Is this heaven?

Yes, it is!

There is a pool to suit whatever your needs.  Lap pools.  Adult pools.  Pool with bars.  Family pools.  Need I say more?

You could find me right here.

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We just so happened to arrive at the pool for Happy Hour.  My most favorite hour of the day.  But, you already knew that!

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Thank you!!!

Nicole + her Lavender Lemonade ♥

 

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It didn’t just look pretty either.

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The Spa //

Nicole + I slipped away to the Spa.

We both gave them an A+

A 50 minute relaxation massage after a backpacking trip.  Yessss please.

When the masseuse asked me which “spots” to focus on…..

Back

Head

Feet

And she straight up killed it.  Nicole would agree!!

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{chardonnay}

When your homegirl tells you J.Crew has the perfect T-shirt.  Not just any old T-shirt.  A T-shirt that represent you.

A fucking chardonnay T-shirt you guys!

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You buy that T-shirt.  And you wear that T-shirt with pride.  Well done J.Crew, well done.

CHEERS!!!

The only thing missing is a big glass of chard in my hand.  But this was taken at 7:30 am and that may have looked kinda funny?

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T-shirt // Blazer // Denim // Wedges

 

Chardonnay

Cortese

Sauvignon Blanc

Pinot Grigio

Chablis

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{weekend notes}

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It’s Monday.  Opps, It’s Tuesday!!  And I’m feeling refreshed after the weekend.  Don’t you love it when that happens?  I completely forgot to hit “publish” yesterday.  And didn’t realize it till late last night.  Hope you guys had a great weekend.  I did everything I had hoped and wanted too.  And even spontaneously snuck off to the city for the night.

 

Intentions for the week:

  • bake Christmas treats
  • caroling at GG’s ♥
  • wrap gifts as they are delivered/purchased
  • stay away from the See’s candy
  • drive around to look at Christmas lights
  • plan favorite things brunch
  • watch all the Christmas movies with Bay
  • serendipity/mojo’s fundraiser for Omega Nu
  • sort Christmas bins
  • sell Bay’s clothes (she wont stop growing)
  • gym mon-fri

 

What are your intentions for the week?  Christmas is around the corner and there is still so much to see and do.

Highlights from the weekend…..

 

Yaya’s //

Yaya’s reunite!  Nothing better than kicking the weekend off with a Yaya dinner!  It’s been far too long.  New babies.  New relationships.  New adventures.  So much to catch up on.  Can’t wait to do it again.  And maybe stay out past 9 🙂

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Christmas Traditions //

One of my (many) favorite Holiday traditions….Christmas cards with all your pretty faces.  I love them so much, that I’ve been known to keep them up well past May.

I’m displaying them the same as last year, on an old box spring from a Peterbilt.  A couple of years ago, I saw them in the dumpster and convinced one of my co-workers to help me dig them out.  I have two.  So hopefully I can fill them both up again this year 🙂  I stole this idea from Marilynn that had one in her living room years ago.

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Christmas Cactus //

I’m a sucker for anything white.  Or gold.  I can across a white Christmas cactus at the Davis Farmers market a few weeks ago.  It was full of buds, so I’ve been waiting patiently for it to bloom.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful Christmas cactus.  Fingers crossed I can keep her alive forever.

 

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Hostess Gift //

I put together my first set of Hostess gifts this weekend.  Anthropologie initial mugs.  Filled with spiced nuts.  Lori Carrion’s spiced nuts, to be exact.  I can’t remember who shared the recipe with me, but it’s a keeper.  Fresh rosemary + brown sugar + cayenne + more.

I tied a twine bow to a bottle brush tree and done!

I found these cute mini bottle brush trees in the Target dollar spot.  I’ll show you how else I used them as you keep scrolling.

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Wrapping //

I set aside some time to get my wrapping on.  It’s really beginning  to feel + look like Christmas at our house.  Bay came home and was so excited to see gifts.  Especially gifts with her name on them.

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The city //

Spontaneous trips to the city are always a good idea.

Especially during the Holidays.

The city lights are beyond beautiful.  Wreaths in each Macy’s window.  #goals.

The tree!

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When the cable car pick up is right outside your hotel, you 100% hop on.  I was like a kids in a candy store.

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{elf on the damn shelf // week 2}

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Okay mama’s, the big question of the day…..

How did week #1 go?  Did you forget to move the Elf on the Damn Shelf more times that you didn’t?

OMG…me too!

I never once remembered to move the Elf on the Damn Shelf the night before.  Every. Single. Morning. I came racing down the stairs as I heard Bay’s alarm go off.  Thank GOD I made this little guide/ideas post last week, because if came in handy.  I used it for each day.  How about you?  Did you find it helpful for the days you were just ready to say fuck it?  He’s not moving for the rest of the damn week?

Well, if so…I’m here to hook you up with 7 more easy ideas to get you through week #2.  This is what I like to call Hell Week.

The week where you just want to throw in the towel.

Don’t!  It’s for the kids, remember?  It’s the Holidays.  Think of all the memories you’re making for them.  And remember, one day, wayyyy down the road (better be) they will have to do this for their kids too.

I’m baking on that phone call…..

“Mom, you really did this shit for 25 frickin days?!?!”

Okay, let’s get to Week #2

Elf on the Damn Shelf Week #2

Supplies needed:

  • cheerios
  • leftover mini marshmallows from last week
  • a note: “HELP!”
  • box of candy canes
  • a note: “I have hidden 6 candy canes in the room.  Can you find them in 1 minute or less?”

 

Day #1

UR MOM IS HOT!  Sorry, I had to.  You’re a MILF and you know it 🙂  Our Elf on the Damn Shelf is a girl.  And I’m still 100% doing this.  Have a good sense of humor.  Or your kids wont…ha!  Promise this will make them giggle.  Then they’ll probably just eat all the Cheerios and go on about their merry day.

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Day #2

Yesterday was so funny that you deserve an easy day.  Shove that Elf on the Damn Shelf in a stocking and call it a day.

See you tomorrow fucker!

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Day #3

Remember last week when I told you to save 1/2 of the bag of marshmallows?  Pull them out of hiding.  Hopefully they aren’t all hard and stale.  Even if they are, it’s totally OK.  Let’s give that little jerk a marshmallow bubble bath.  Don’t drown him, k!

Again, remember to use a sink you’re not planning on using for the next 24 hours.  A bowl next to the sink will do the trick too!

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Day #4

HEEELLLLPPPP!  No explanation needed 🙂

 

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{friday 5}

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Happy Friday, friends….hope you had a great week!  Cant even begin to believe that Christmas is two weeks away.  NUTS!  My weekend to-do’s are growing by the minute.  What’s on your list for the weekend?  I get to see one of my favorite group of ladies tonight for margs + cheers.  Baklava making with the Corbett babes.  Sleeping in.  Myabe even brunch?  And of course, wrapping gifts.

Have a good on, k!!

Don’t even think I’m going to let you go that quickly….I’ve got 5 things on my mind first…..

ONE – Goat Cheese Balls //  When I say it out loud all I can think of is Stassi on Vanderpump Rules.  Her love for SUR goat cheese balls is real.  She even tweeted about it: here!  Ha.  Anyway, I was assigned an appetizer for our yearly Omega Nu Holiday party.  I knew it had to be cheese, for obvious reasons.  I LOVE CHEESE!  And I’ve yet to play with goat cheese.  Soooo, I googled that shit.  Came up with about 8,732 recipes.  ALL fried.  I don’t fry.  Therefore I had to play with it a healthy it up a bit.

Goat cheese + honey + herbs + BAKED!  Bam!  Healthy-er!

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Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 8 oz. goat cheese
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 tablespoon honey (extra for drizzling)
  • 1 egg, whisked
  • 1 cup walnut, crushed in food processor

 

Line cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside.

Stir together goat cheese + all spices + honey.

In two separate bowls you’ll need whisked egg + chopped walnuts.

Using a cookie scoop, scoop goat cheese mixture and form into a ball.

Roll goat cheese ball in whisked egg then walnuts.

Place on lined cookie sheet.

Repeat will remaining goat cheese.

Freeze for 1 hour.

When ready to bake, preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Bake on cookie sheet for 10 minutes.

Serve warm with additional honey drizzled over the top.  Crackers or bread are a must too!

 

 

TWO – Ojai // I’m devastated to hear about the fires in Southern California.  Hasn’t CA had it’s fair share of fires for the year?  Or forever, yet?  Then to top it off, as I’ve been working on my {ojia // travelogue part #2}, the best part of the trip.  I was saddened to see that Ojai Valley Inn, the most beautiful resort I have visited to date, is under evacuation.  See this photo below?  I took this as I was sitting at the Ojai Valley Inn pool.  Less than 30 day ago.  It’s unreal that this could be gone.

Pray for California ♥

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THREE – Christmas Tree Frap // Starbucks debuted the seasonal Frap yesterday.  It all stared with the Unicorn Frap the Dragon and Cherry Blossom Frap.  The Zommbie + Vampire made a quick go around during October.  Which leads us to the final for the year….the Christmas Tree Frap.

Delicious mocha and peppermint are blended with milk and ice, topped with a festive tree made of matcha infused whipped cream, a caramel drizzle and candied cranberries finished off with a strawberry tree “topper.”

I picked one up for the queen of seasonal fraps….aka Bay.

I personally thought it looked like a seven layer dip in a Starbucks cup.  With a strawberry on top. It even smelled funny too.

The Frap Queens review:

It tastes like melty mint chocolate chip ice cream + coffee.

She LOVEEEDDD it.  And is currently wanting to hit every Starbucks insight to scoop up one of these $5 drinks before they vanish.

My review:

Dis-gus-ting!!!!

Coming from a black coffee non frap drinking girl.

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